Tag Archives: humor

MailChimp signup for WordPress explained, plus get a free prequel to Shizzle, Inc!

Thank you, everyone, for providing advice and tips on how to get started with MailChimp! It motivated me not only to get my list and signup form organised, but also to finally publish a short story compilation. It’s a collection of three short stories that begin to shed some light on how Isa came to be the character that she is:

THIS IS WHY flat

What do you think of the cover? I was in a hurry, so will play with the title font more some other time. I found another image of the same model on Shutterstock – and by the way, I found a coupon for 10% off an order online, and it worked! The coupon code is “SS10”, in case you are interested. Anyway, back to This Is Why: this little book is NOT AVAILABLE ANYWHERE else – I will not be publishing it on Amazon, at least not until I come up with another half-dozen or so stories. It is my gift and bait to get you to join my brand new email list :-).

Speaking of which, yay! I already have 6 subscribers! That all happened while I was busy writing this post – and even before I’d made promises of the free stories. Wow, thank you guys so much – and if you didn’t get a copy of This Is Why, let me know, and I will email it to you. I promise not to spam you – the purpose of the list will be to make sure you don’t miss out on time-limited opportunities, like the next free cover giveaway, or a new book going on sale or given away for free. If interested, please click here or on the link at the top of the sidebar – I’m calling it my hush-hush VIP list…

It feels good to join the ranks of marketing gurus…and, as promised, this is how you can do it too:

I’d started by trying to use step by step instructions in this Ultimate Guide to Using Mailchimp and WordPress, but the code for the text widget did not work for me, instead displaying the naked code for all to see. An HTML-fluent person could fix it, but I certainly couldn’t.

So then I’d tried Aniko Carmean’s instructions and they worked beautifully! NOTE: make sure there’s no duplication of quote marks, or anything like that – at first my link sent me to an “oops” page, but I managed to resolve it by removing one duplicated quote mark. Technology…

Just to make sure we’re on the same page, this is what my Text Widget looks like:

Widget text

Clicking on the link will take you to this signup page. I called it Ana Spoke’s supporters – because that’s what you guys are to me:

Signup page

I chose to only ask for the email and first name, no last name or anything. As simple as possible. I also didn’t mess with any formatting, because, luckily, the font and color scheme fit nicely with my blog theme. Aniko’s directions do talk about formatting, just in case youre interested.

Next, I had to figure out how to provide the free prequel copy with the signup. At first it was a headache, because I knew which form to use, but could not figure out how to attach a file to it. Luckily, MailChimp has a guide on how to do just that – I can’t post a link for some reason, but just search MailChimp Help for “send a file to new subscribers” and you’re in business. Basically you need to start a “final welcome email”, click on the suggested sentence in a red dash-line box, which opens the editor similar to WP one. Write the message, then highlight the words you want to turn into the link to your file, click on the link icon above (again, so similar to WP), and choose “file” from the pull-down menu. After the user confirms their email subscription, they will receive a confirmation email that looks like this:

Screenshot (41)

Someone suggested setting up the gift in Instafreebie, which I think is a good idea. I’d decided to just send a pdf, as I’m not too worried about the copyright in this instance and wanted to keep things as simple as possible. If you decide to send subscribers a whole book, do look into Instafreebie and let us all know how it works for you.

Speaking of keeping things simple, I’d decided not to use CAPTCHA. I opted for it at first, but then, when I did a test subscription myself (which I highly recommend you do as well), I found it extremely annoying to have to pick which of the collage of photos have pancakes. Please! I wonder how many subscribers I’d lose at that point…

WORD OF CAUTION: apparently by law (CAN-SPAM Act) you’re required to display your physical address in every email and even when people subscribe! You can’t opt out of this requirement – believe me, I’ve tried. The address can be a P.O. Box, but it has to be a valid one, where you can receive mail. For now I’m using a friend’s P.O. Box, and will set up my own this week. You can put a fake address, probably, but why risk a $16,000 fine?

So there you go – it’s possible, relatively easy, and it works! I will keep monitoring the progress and keep you updated, as always. Thank you all so much!

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This is what a CreateSpace paperback looks like

Hi, everyone!

Thanks again for all your warm wishes this week, when I’ve posted my big news – that a paperback version of Shizzle, Inc is finally available on Amazon.

I have mentioned in that post how happy I was with its quality, and a few of you have asked for the photos of the actual book. I’m not a great photographer, so this is the best I can do:

imageimageimage

This is only one variation of the finishes you can have – glossy cover (you can choose matte) with cream pages (you can choose white). I don’t have another version to compare, but I’ve found another blog which compares glossy and matte covers.

It feels great – solid, well-made, the same quality you would expect from any bookstore. I really like the paper – it feels great to flip a page or to hold it open, and I’m once again happy with my layout. I was worried that the margins are too small, but it looks fine, again sort of industry-standard.

I’ve ordered 50 copies to gift to my family and to start pushing onto the local bookstores. It will take a month to get here, and yet the shipping cost is still more than $100! My next step is to try and get it into US brick-an-mortar bookstores, if anyone has any advice on how to do that via emails, please let me know!

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It’s here! The paperback is finally here!

What a world we live in! Just last Thursday I’ve uploaded the latest files to CreateSpace, then on Friday got the green light to order a proof for review. I paid $26 to have it express shipped to Australia and it was supposed to arrive this coming Thursday. That would have been amazing, but I was not holding my breath, what with the customs and all. So imagine my surprise when the package arrived today! Five days after uploading the files!

What a wonderful, amazing world, full of possibilities!

It’s beautiful! I was worried for some reason that it would look cheap, but it’s gorgeous – it looks just like any book in a bookstore. I chose glossy cover and cream paper and I love the result. The glossy cover makes it feel quite solid, and the pages feel great, like firm paper with a soft feel – the best way I can explain it. The cover colors look just like on my monitor, not like the crappy prints I did myself. The red leather looks very realistic, and I’m once again happy I went back to the gold leaf overlay for the title. If you are interested, I will post a few photos on the weekend – it’s impossible to photograph under artificial lights.

I spent a couple of hours reviewing the interior. They say you’re supposed to read it three times, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ve had multiple professional proofreads, and the Kindle edition has been out for three months. Surely, one of the 18 reviews would have mentioned if I had glaring errors? I also would love to continue tweaking the cover art, but at one point you just have to stop. Just stop and move on, and issue another edition in the future, if need be. Otherwise, the sequel will never get finished.

So I’ve approved it for publication. The message said that it will be available on Amazon in 2-3 days. Not bad. Then I’d decided to check Amazon. You know, in case they were just managing my expectations.

I don’t know what I was thinking. Stupid, unwarranted hope. Which sometimes leads to unexpected results:

Screenshot (31)

It’s here! I mean, there, in cyberspace! It’s already available on American Amazon website and appears on UK Amazon, although not yet available to order. It doesn’t yet appear on Australian Amazon, but that’s not surprising – we are ahead of the US by about 16 hours and behind by at least 16 years. It has not yet linked to my author page, or to the Kindle edition – I would appreciate if anyone could advise how to expedite the process. I would love to get them linked in time for my upcoming 5 December promo with Bargain Booksy. That way people may read a digital edition and decide to buy a copy or two as gifts. Cause, you know, nothing beats laughs as a Christmas gift, right?

I Skyped my parents and we clicked glasses to our respective webcams. Mom cried. Dad predicted my brilliant future and tried to tell me some new jokes for the sequel. I drunk my white wine and thought about the last two-an-a-half years of writing, editing, and publishing. It was all worth it.

What a world we live in…

 

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Mystery solved (I think) and a quick update on the marketing blitz

Hi, everyone,

Shizzle, Inc got up to #34 on Amazon’s Satire Bestseller list! If you are not following the live tweeting of my biggest marketing campaign to date, here is a quick recap:

  1. Robin Reads started strong, but was a disappointment at 19 sales, at a cost of $25.
  2. Indie Book Promo was a complete dud, at maybe 1 sale (I had 3 total, but 2 were from my constant tweeting about it).
  3. Book Gorilla is currently on fire!

Screenshot (25)

I will post a complete report on Monday. Wish me luck!

Now, I’d like to venture an explanation for the mystery surrounding the 1,200+ verified purchase reviews on a book yet to be released – as previously mentioned in Riddle me this!

First of all, I’d like to thank the following detectives:

  1. Nancy Glynn of Nancy Glynn – thank you for sharing the loophole allowing reviews on a yet-to-be-published book by “tricking” CreateSpace.
  2. Isabella Belucci of Isabella Belucci – thank you for sharing your experience reviewing and ARC (Advanced Review Copy) for another author.
  3. Mykl Walsh of Secret Agent Man – thank you for scouring the Internet for clues!
  4. Tim Vicary of Tim Vicary – thank you for checking the suspect’s Goodreads profile 🙂
  5. Prospero of Prospero’s Island – thank you for digging up an interview with the mention of Kindle First!

I did some research myself – and it all seemed to point to Kindle First. For example, all 1,200+ reviews have been posted during November, in line with Kindle First offering the book a month before its release on 1 December. For those not familiar with Kindle First – it is an offer of free or discounted bestsellers (I think just four of them a month), chosen by Amazon’s editors. I have searched madly for any clues on how to get on the list, but it seems to be either a secret or an impossible feat, even though most traditional publishers are currently not supporting it.

Any detectives want to take on this new mystery??

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Tomorrow! Tomorrow! The marketing blitz starts tomorrow!

I can’t believe it’s only a day away!

To remind you, I will run three promos on three consecutive days between 26-28 November. There was going to be a fourth, but I’d messed up and did not follow up on it. Proof that you have to have a plan and write things down.

Speaking of plans, I just heard an awesome quote along the lines of “The difference between confidence and arrogance is a plan.” So let me lay out my plan on getting Shizzle, Inc to #1 in Amazon’s Satire Bestseller List this weekend:

  1. 26 November. We start with Robin Reads targeted mail-out. Cost: $25.
  2. 27 November. There might be some sales generated by Robin Reads, hopefully supported by Indie Book promo. Cost: $25.
  3. 28 November – we finish off with a biggie – a proven performer, Book Gorilla. Cost: $50.

I am so excited about it that I will be posting live sales charts throughout the weekend on twitter. So, if you are interested, and are not yet following me – follow @spokeana on Twitter now! You don’t want to miss the races!

This is the current sales chart:

 

Sales on 25 Nov

 

And here are the current rankings:

 

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #314,319 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Let’s see what happens tomorrow!

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Review: Shizzle Inc by Ana Spoke

Just woke up to another surprise review of Shizzle, Inc – thank you, NiaLisabeth!

Nia's avatarThe Most Sublime Things

7/10

Synopsis:

Isa Maxwell is an average busty blonde, a recent graduate of a community college, and rap-loving, gun-toting, self-proclaimed badass. More than anything else, Isa wants to be discovered, so that she can solve her financial woes and win back Brad, the love of her life.
Thanks to her clumsiness, street smarts, and an unbelievable bit of luck, Isa lands a dream job at Shizzle, Inc. Things start to look up when Mr. Hue, the playboy billionaire owner of Shizzle, Inc takes Isa under his wing. Isa even gets a number of new love interests, but all is not what it seems. In fact, absolutely nothing is what it seems.
Can Isa survive the tough world of corporate intrigue and constant looming bodily harm? Or will her efforts be the end of Shizzle, Inc and possibly her life?

First things first, I absolutely adore the cover of this book…

View original post 449 more words

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Another experiment with marketing, a $0.99 sale, and alcohol-induced pledging.

Happy Haloween!

I hope you’re looking forward to tonight’s festivities, but a word of warning from Australia, where we’d already been there and done that – try not to drink too much! You’ll just end up where I am now, and where you’ve probably been yourself – regretting that last glass and swearing off the alcohol forever. For once, I’m dead serious. Here’s my new pledge:

During the six months I plan to spend as a full-time writer, I will not drink at all.

I have not been drinking much since I’ve met Josh, who (unlike most Australians) doesn’t really drink. We have a glass of wine with dinner probably once or twice a month. So you can imagine how three glasses of wine from last night have ruined my day today. I’d still made it to the gym, but that was the only thing I’d managed all day – no writing yet. Needless to say, incompatible with what I am setting out to achieve.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fun! My sister managed to take a long enough break from her two little kids so that we could talk about our writing dreams. Yes, she’s a writer too, almost finished with the first draft of her YA novel. We kept drinking, talking, and laughing till just after midnight. We talked about why it feels so wrong to take half a year off work, and why it feels so absurd to attempt yet another career switch, this time to a profession where the odds of “making it” are about as good as they are in the lottery jackpot.

Then we started going through our memories and remembering when we’d “won the lottery” before. Like when I’ve announced back in Ukraine that I was going to win a scholarship to study abroad and was ridiculed by everyone for a year, until I left on a full scholarship to the US. Or when my sister said that she was going to move to Australia and even I did not believe her, until she got into the second selection round. We came up with a long list and they all had something in common – a vision, a plan, and a lot of hard work. There was also something else – not giving up, no matter how hopeless things looked. It’s all too easy to swear off dating, once you’ve been on about fifty first dates, but I got my prize, and he still makes me breakfast in bed almost every day, even after all these fifteen months…

Anyway, I still have a lot of work to do in terms of arranging such a long leave – I’ve already talked to my immediate manager, but now I have to convince his boss, who can be a tough nut. He’s back next week and I’m going to bring it up on Friday, after he’s had a chance to settle in and is less likely to shoot from the hip. Wish me luck.

Meanwhile, there’s some excitement on the marketing front – Shizzle, Inc is on sale again this weekend, and I have a Bargain Booksy promo scheduled – will update in a few days on the sales numbers. The paper version formatting is almost finished, the first draft of the paper cover is done, and I have even purchased a bar code! There will be Goodreads promotions and bugging all the local bookshops with free review copies. Also, I’m up to 14,000 words on the sequel draft.

Enjoy your candy. I’m off to add another thousand to my word pile.

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Marketing gimmick #2, in which I slash prices and @&# everyone.

Shizzle, Inc is $0.99 for a limited time!

Did any of that get your attention? Hope so, cause my gimmick #2 got me no results whatsoever. Or maybe it did, if you consider negative a result. The rankings added zeroes – and of course, that means the sales didn’t. The stats went south and someone blocked me…

Before I continue with this pity party, I do have some amazing news to report. Shizzle, Inc now got six reviews on Amazon, all 5-star! This may not seem like much, compared to proper bestsellers, but from reading other people’s blogs, I gather that it is quite an achievement for the first three weeks of a self-published title. I have read each one at least a dozen times, and it sounds like there will be a few more within a week – people have messaged me to say that they are reading it and laughing. Sweeter words have not been written…

So, back to my gimmick #2, what was it? As the title says, I’ve spent last week #-tagging and sending @ messages to reviewers on Twitter. It was suggested in one of the comments, and as soon as I read it, I was overwhelmed with a vision that it would work. After all, I’ve seen celebrities madly hashtagging their every sneeze, and if celebrities do it, it must be working for them, right?

My plan was simple:

  1. Add hashtags to my quote+link tweets sent out four times a day via Buffer. I’ve used some of the ones from 44 essential hashtags for writers. I have personally used #comedy, #humor, #Kindle, #ebook, and #chicklit.
  2. Send @ messages to 20 Twitter reviewers. I sent quotes+link tweets to all reviewers still active on this Best Twitter Reviewers list.
  3. Refresh stats at least once a minute.

A week has passed. Stats have been refreshed at least ten thousand times, and the results are in. So, how did I do, and what have I learned?

  1. Hashtags seemed to reduce the number of link clicks for the week! Here are the last two weeks worth of engagements and link clicks:

Link clicks

The week before, I got 285 link clicks. This week it’s back down to the usual 131. Is that the hashtag’s fault? Or is everyone seek of seeing my quotes? Is there a “quote fatique” going on?

In addition, the number of profile visits went down, even though the number of engagements is way up (for the last 28 days):

Tweet impressions vs profile visits

When things are not working, one must change, and pronto. For this current week, I have stopped hashtagging and even including links, and the stats have actually improved! So far, I am getting a lot more retweets on my quotes, which may mean that people automatically hate hashtags or links – they know you’re trying to sell them something…I will provide a full update in a week.

2.  Sending @ messages resulted in zero responses from the reviewers, it’s like they didn’t even see it. Oh, wait, one did – I got blocked in a hurry! I kind of understand, because nobody has the time to respond to every single message, and maybe mine were properly spammy. I then tried again, sending more personal messages to those who did not block me and actually asking to review the book, rather than passively-aggressively sending a quote and a link. So far I got one polite “sorry, I’m too busy” and no other blocks. But no interest, either.

There you go, not all marketing ideas are good. For my next trick, I have reduced the price of Shizzle, Inc to 99 cents! get it quick, before I decide to test what a $9.99 will do to my royalty figures!

In my next gimmick reveal I pinky-promise to tell you:

  1. How many sales it took to get to #72 on the PAID Amazon Humor Bestseller list.
  2. Sales figures before and after the free ebook giveaway a couple of weeks ago.
  3. The impact of this latest $0.99 sale on the sales figures.

If you have any particular questions about marketing of a freshly-self-published novel, ask away and I will answer them in the next post.

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5 stars for Shizzle, Inc!

I’ve been waiting for this milestone with bated breath – first independent review on Amazon.  Imagine the surprise of waking up to five gold stars:

image

The reviewer read the book in one night and “never laughed so hard in my life.” I’ve never squealed so much in my life 🙂 Can’t stop reading and re-reading it 🙂 Thank you so much, Dear Reader.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I gotta go read the review. Just this one last time…

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Get Shizzle, Inc for free – my “thank you” to all of you!

Hi, everybody,

Thank you again for helping me make Shizzle, Inc happen – you’ve been with me while I was writing it, gave me advice when I was pulling my hair out during editing, and you even bought copies of my first baby, catapulting it to Amazon’s Humour Bestseller List within the first week (even if it was there only for a few hours).

I was wearing my fingers raw typing endless mad “thank you”s when I realised that no amount of exclamation marks, or even the cutest emojis can convey my gratitude. I also realised that the best way to thank someone is with stuff. Since I’m far away, don’t have much stuff to begin with, and really need the stuff I already got, I want to thank you with free copies of Shizzle, Inc. I’ve scheduled the promo to be on Amazon this weekend, although I’m buffled as to which time zone it will be. It’s a fair bet that on Saturday afternoon you should be able to download a copy. If you’ve already bought a copy, thank you double – and maybe tell your friends about the promo.

Thank you again, and please let me know what you think 🙂

Big, big hugs.

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