No matter how hard I try, I don’t get what I want.
This thought has taken over my already exhausted brain on some kind of evil repeating loop. I have been trying for about a year to get published (over 70 applications and counting) or at least get a new job (lost count of applications). I am pretty thick-skinned, but the sheer amount of rejections, or worst yet, the continuous silence, is depressing.
I was walking home this afternoon, pissed off that the grocery stores dared to close on Good Friday, when I noticed my engagement ring sparkling in the sunshine. It occurred to me that the ring is a symbol of many things – not just our undying love and commitment and such, but also that one should never stop trying. After all, if I stopped a year or a decade ago, this wouldn’t have happened:
I guess one should also not forget to stop and smell the roses, or spend time with their significant other without being distracted by constant checking of SEEK.com or email. After all, if I had to choose between getting published or getting married to Josh, I would choose latter.
I just hope I don’t have to choose. I’m willing to work twice as hard to get both.
Ana Spoke, author 